The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
