I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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