paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
