like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
