Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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