honey bunches of taint.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We talked him into tasing himself.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
