I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
