I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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