I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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