Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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