grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize