we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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