did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
