So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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