everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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