addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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