I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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