does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
