I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
