I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize