hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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