so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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