i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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