Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
