I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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