Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i dont even know how to be here
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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