is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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