No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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