i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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