I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
