What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
