Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Pants are for mortals
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
