I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
