I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
