well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
