I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize