She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
