you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
