he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
