you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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