does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
