Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
