He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
