I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
