We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she told me i tasted like america
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
