For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
