I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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