I can text with my tongue
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
