I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
