if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
