i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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