did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize