don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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