I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
