porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
