sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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