TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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