Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
