names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
