The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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