So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
