I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
