just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
These tits shall not be calmed
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
