Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
