who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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