Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Randomize