im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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