What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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