i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
