True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
