Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
